Wow. That's too bad. I just had the exact same problem, and also on a refurb I bought from the Harman Audio store on eBay. Three separate times over a 2 week period, I'd be listening to music, and suddenly the music would stop–the receiver would just randomly switch to standby. And, like you, I couldn't get it to come back on without shutting it down (power switch as opposed to the standby switch). Mine was a H/K AVR-235. Very weird that you're having nearly identical problems.
My solution? I sent it back and asked for a refund. With the time it took to get to me, not to mention the hassle of shipping, I just didn't want to take the chance of getting another refurb and have to go through the whole thing again. That happening again is a longshot...or is it? With you having the same problems, I have my doubts. Good luck in your quest to resolve/get another/get something else.