Once upon a time, I had a budget to live by, a contented marriage, a nice new surround audio system, no debt, and life was good. THEN......I discovered this place. Audioholics. Yep. I wasn't an addict until you all turned me into one.
"Hi. I'm RJ, and I'm innocent of deep a/v knowledge. How's it goin'? I just bought this nifty new gear. Whatcha think?"
"Hi RJ. Welcome. We'll educate you (on why your current system needs to be upgraded or you'll be forever unhappy). No problem. We know, because we've been there! We'll help you get that big-box store speaker wax outta your ears. Smooth, man. You'll be cool when you start buying new subs and speakers and wire the size of pythons with solid platinum connectors (just kidding about the size of the wire)."
Oh yeah, you buggers have taken not only my soul, but my best friend's too. He's on AH now and is (this is incredible when you really think about it....but most of you are too far gone to think rationally about this, I'm certain) building a new house AROUND his HT! It's a sickness. A deep, amoral illness, this Audioholics website, borne by Al Gore's internet. My friend and I used to have wonderful, freewheeling conversations about worldly matters...solved the world's problems. Now all we talk about is audio-esoterica. We get the
LOOK more from our wives in one week now than we used to get in a year.
What the kachungas am I talking about?! I'll tell ya what I'm talking about. I just bought a new set of NowYou'reTalkin' speakers, and a new receiver that will make my breakfast as well as play sounds, to replace my
old (???!!!..two years
old???!!!) ones. And they were pretty good ones....or so I thought until I met all you addiction-enablers.
Of course I had to include new accessories. Natch. New cables, stands. Oh, it's all so....necessary....somehow.
So now I owe my soul to Chase Visa, a lifelong string of chores to my wife to make up for getting all this
stuff I 'had to have', and wonder what in the world I'm gonna do with all these huge (70 lb. each)
old speakers I no longer need. Sell them here in town? Ha. This town has 6,800 people in it and barely has outgrown AM radio. I might as well give them away to someone. Yeah....that's it! I'll let them take up room in my garage until Christmas. Then I'll go down to the local Bi-Mart, and when the Salvation Army guy turns his back....I'll dump this relatively expensive, now useless, used-to-be-great-gear-I-thought next to his coin bucket. I'll do that if I have time from all the chores I now 'owe' the missus for the lavish self-indulgence of which I just partook in the name of audio-nirvana-seeking.
What did I get? (Like you care.) I'll tell ya when the stuff arrives next week. Oh yeah, and I check the UPS tracking schedule 4 times daily to make sure it all finds its way here. Of course you'll all get a little review. And here's hoping you all coo and ah appropriately.....and not say anything like..."Well, that's pretty nice RJ. When are you gonna upgrade to .... *****?"
