Concrete is one of the big factors. Because you have no sympathetic resonance in the floor or wall and because you get more bounce off the walls, you don't quite get all the "rumble". TOTAL room volume is a factor as well, as the sub has to move all that air to give you the "feel". Are you looking for
kick or low end rumble? If it's low end, you might consider just getting some bass shakers and an amp. It really adds to the preception of low end bass, which is mostly vibration anyway

If it's kick, well, I don't know how to help with that. It could be that the large driver size doesn't perform as well in the upper midrange. My 15" isn't as fast as my former 10" subs were in the upper midrange. Though it still sounds good, it isn't quite the same.
Give the sub placement thread a once over. It has a lot of info, though the parts I was reading were for dual sub, the method for locating a good spot for the sub is the same (a systematic version of the "crawl" method). Not exactly an exciting read, but some good info can be picked from it.
Unless you have a HUGE room, yes the waves are longer than most rooms for the low stuff. I don't recall the formula off hand, but I believe a 40Hz tone is already something like 30ft peak to peak, so 20Hz is going to be damn long.