Eww... Glad I'm not a road warrior anymore. I don't miss the gross passengers, or the people that never fly but try to act like they do, etc.
I had a system down. I could be through TSA in 60 seconds. People looked at me weird like why is that guy taking off his belt and putting his cell phone in his bag. But with slip-on shoes, I could be ready for the rectal exam in 10 seconds or less from the time I hit the end of the scanner table. Same for getting dressed again.
There was the one lady in Oakland that didn't get the concept of "Please remove all metal." She had bracelets from her wrist all the way to the elbow. Made of...metal. She didn't understand why she kept setting off the old metal detector. TSA was getting frustrated. I was good and didn't cough out the suggestion "back room."
One of the grossest things I encountered was boarding a flight home only to find the inbound passengers had barfed in the row in front of my seat.
One of the funniest was watching the chubby teens run through the airport carrying all their sh!t (because you don't want to check bags), with the horse collar pillow, trying to run in flip-flops and extra long baggy pajama bottoms because that is what they have seen on the Kardashians. I guess the thought that you might have to book across a major airport to catch your connecting flight never crossed their minds.
