The brain is not that easily fooled. You can aim speakers wherever you want in the ceiling, and the voices will still come from "on high" however you aim them and whatever brand you select.
Interior designers as a whole are dedicated to disallowing people to enjoy the spaces they have paid for.
The fact is that good AV systems add enormous enjoyment daily to peoples lives. Sterile useless spaces do not. The interior designer of the builder ended up exiting the project and that was a huge bonus.
Tell your wife to rid her head of the BS the interior designer has filled it with. Then get about building spaces you will both enjoy for the ages. Spaces can be both beautiful, functional, relaxing and enjoyable. None of those are in conflict unless you are an interior designer.
An architects rule, a big piece of paper and a sharp pencil, have always been my best friends in these matters.
AV system in our great room.
We decided to match the speaker grill with the TV rather than the wall color.
Other views of the great room.
So you absolutely can have great AV and elegant interior design, they are NOT mutually exclusive.
My wife just loves that system and it sounds excellent. Left right and center speakers and a high performance in wall sub.
This is the AV room which the whole family love and enjoy.
Our outside kitchen.
We love this home, and our whole family enjoy it. The interior designer would have ruined it.
She got read her pedigree on a regular basis. I hold them in low esteem and you and your wife should too.