I stopped by PA last night to see if our electric was hooked up yet. I walked around the corner of the house. My first thought was, "wow, one of my new neighbors must have a very large dog who got loose." Then he stood up on his hind legs. OK, it's not a dog. It's a 6+ foot, 300+ pound black bear that I am now nose to nose with. We both freeze and stand there looking at each other. He was only 2 or 3 feet away at the most. I hadn't panicked yet, but the crazy voices inside my head decided that this was a good time for a discussion.
First voice: (I don't think this guy gets it yet. Maybe he was still in friendly dog mode.) What a beautiful animal. Look at how clean and shiny his fur is. And he seems scared. Maybe I should talk to him and pet him.
Second voice: Are you freaking crazy!? Look at the size of those claws. How'sabout you get your @ss out of here and take me with you.
Third voice: Don't run. He'll chase you down.
Fourth voice: Don't look him in the eye. He'll think it's a challenge.
I wasn't able to look away. Maybe part of me thought that if this guy was going to rip me apart, I should watch. But I did manage to slowly take a half step back with my right foot. This is when the bear turned and ran into the woods. Seemed like a great idea to me, so I ran the other way. My car was about 10 or 15 feet away. I got back to it in what seemed like one giant leap. Got in the car and started it. Threw it in reverse and stomp on the gas. So now the wheels are spinning, but I'm not moving. Oh, the parking brake. Take it off. Flying down the driveway I noticed that the bear has circled around and is now in the road watching me. I put the car in drive and slowly pull back up the driveway. The bear runs into the woods across the street from me and keeps going till he's out of sight. After a few minutes I decide to go into the house. Get out of the car and walk around that same corner again. As I'm going up the stairs to the deck one of my voices starts talking again. I think it was voice number 2. He said, "Now you're out in the open. You're trapped. You better get in the house fast. What's that noise? Is that him? HURRY!" My hands were shaking as I tried to get the key in the door. I must have paced around in that empty house for 20 minutes going from window to window looking for another bear. Some girl walked past the house with her small dog on a leash. I stepped out the front door and told her about the bear. She didn't seem concerned at all and kept walking. She must have thought, "Another stupid New Yorker who's never seen a bear."
WHAT HAVE I DONE?
