Girlfriend argument

[MidnightSensi]

Many of us are married or in long term relationships which is what he wants eventually.

I think it's important to marry a girl that has your level of intelligence. You don't want to be dropping out dumb kids.

Yeah, actually the best advice I've received has been on this site.

I've been kinda timid about making this thread but I'm glad I did.

My local friends are good people, but, they think like I'm trying not to. The two people I brought this up to thought it was funny and were most interested in how many times I got laid before it ended.

 

[Davemcc]

Don't look back. She was cheating on you.

 

[highfigh]

I never thought of that...that does kind of explain how I felt and how it goes down. My day was going bad at work, and then when I felt like she blew me off she matched the rest of my day rather than being a relief and so I got pissed.

Actually kinda makes sense.

I haven't read the whole thread but I went back to your first date thread after I saw the glaring similarity to how that started. She put off the date and didn't seem to be tremendously communicative and now she's doing the same thing. If it seems like the whole relationship progressed really quickly to you, given that you now refer to her as 'your girlfriend', you may want to ask yourself how she sees it. She may feel like it's moving too fast. OTOH, she may have been involved with someone and they may have had a bad spell, so you were the temporary solution until they could work it out.

They can't be understood. They also don't like when a guy tells them "I don't read minds", at the get-go. They want to be the 'puppet-master'. When it becomes too easy, they lose interest and when the guy can't be controlled, it only makes them more attracted to the rebellious guy.

 

[Davemcc]

Pretty sure they invented a cure for a bad day at work.

It's called beer, maybe you've heard of it?

Oh that's precious...telling a guy named Sensi what he needs to relax.

 

[gmichael]

Oh that's precious...telling a guy named Sensi what he needs to relax.

Nothing wrong with a 2 pronged approach.

 

[Alex2507]

Nothing wrong with a 2 pronged approach.

At first I thought that comment was related to the cheating.

 

[lsiberian]

I haven't read the whole thread but I went back to your first date thread after I saw the glaring similarity to how that started. She put off the date and didn't seem to be tremendously communicative and now she's doing the same thing. If it seems like the whole relationship progressed really quickly to you, given that you now refer to her as 'your girlfriend', you may want to ask yourself how she sees it. She may feel like it's moving too fast. OTOH, she may have been involved with someone and they may have had a bad spell, so you were the temporary solution until they could work it out.

They can't be understood. They also don't like when a guy tells them "I don't read minds", at the get-go. They want to be the 'puppet-master'. When it becomes too easy, they lose interest and when the guy can't be controlled, it only makes them more attracted to the rebellious guy.

I don't know about puppet master. Girls just take a while to really warm up to a guy. The other thing is you have to hold out the goods on them for as long as you can. The longer you hold out the hotter they get.

I'm thinking she's not really you're girlfriend. It's way too early for that from what I can tell.

Women can be controlled, but that takes talent.

 

[lsiberian]

Nothing wrong with a 2 pronged approach.

It can avoid those nasty ground loops.

 

[MidnightSensi]

I haven't read the whole thread but I went back to your first date thread after I saw the glaring similarity to how that started. She put off the date and didn't seem to be tremendously communicative and now she's doing the same thing. If it seems like the whole relationship progressed really quickly to you, given that you now refer to her as 'your girlfriend', you may want to ask yourself how she sees it. She may feel like it's moving too fast. OTOH, she may have been involved with someone and they may have had a bad spell, so you were the temporary solution until they could work it out.

They can't be understood. They also don't like when a guy tells them "I don't read minds", at the get-go. They want to be the 'puppet-master'. When it becomes too easy, they lose interest and when the guy can't be controlled, it only makes them more attracted to the rebellious guy.

Really out of the two of us I was the slower moving one, but I do agree it moved too fast....which, would have been my fault for allowing it to as much as hers. Also I did make it easy, and expected it to be the same her way.

....

She texted me this morning, and through this whole learning experience.... I think I just want to move on. Regardless of my screw-ups, I go back to lsiberian's comment about being with someone scatter brained. That might be okay for a few nights, but, in the long run it might just not be for me.


As far as Sensi chilling, if that call would have been 1 hour later, this thread wouldn't have existed (yet).

 

[lsiberian]

Really out of the two of us I was the slower moving one, but I do agree it moved too fast....which, would have been my fault for allowing it to as much as hers. Also I did make it easy, and expected it to be the same her way.

....

She texted me this morning, and through this whole learning experience.... I think I just want to move on. Regardless of my screw-ups, I go back to lsiberian's comment about being with someone scatter brained. That might be okay for a few nights, but, in the long run it might just not be for me.


As far as Sensi chilling, if that call would have been 1 hour later, this thread wouldn't have existed (yet).

If I may add one more piece of advice. Find a grown up, not a kid. A person that doesn't know what they want out of life isn't where you are at. You want to have a wife that can support your family should something happen to you. Mature people are much easier to deal with and you want to marry a mature woman. Age isn't an indicator of maturity.

 

[Fenix]

My advice would be to start hanging out with groups that have similar interests, and that go out and do fun activities together (and I don't mean your friends that are constantly looking for that one night stand). If there aren't any groups of friends like that right now, start it up yourself. Try to find activities that you enjoy and invite lots of people, guys and girls. Hopefully they'll bring people that you don't know and perhaps you'll find a woman that complements you.

You know how they say, you marry your best friend. That is what she needs to become. You may have to move very slowly (some people take years to get married), but that is all up to you guys. When you find a woman that enjoys many of the same things you do, start opening up to her. Start going on those dates and sharing stories, experiences, and fun times. Before you know it, you will discover that you have come to love her and will be ready for that next step.

It's hard getting started, but try to resist the urge to go out and get the quick lay.

Hopefully something in this post makes sense, I just have all kinds of stuff jumbling around in my head, and I hope it comes out in a way that makes sense. Good luck!!

 

[gmichael]

If I may add one more piece of advice. Find a grown up, not a kid. A person that doesn't know what they want out of life isn't where you are at. You want to have a wife that can support your family should something happen to you. Mature people are much easier to deal with and you want to marry a mature woman. Age isn't an indicator of maturity.

Hey! I resemble that remark!

 

[MinusTheBear]

Sensi, you need to do about a handful of "buckets" or "pails" . That will certainly take the edge off, forget about her, and move on...

 

[rmk]

Only one comment … you need a dog. They are great companions, loyal, unconditional love, make you more responsible and if you get a cute one like I did (see dog pics section) they are chick magnets.

 

[MidnightSensi]

Sensi, you need to do about a handful of "buckets" or "pails" . That will certainly take the edge off, forget about her, and move on...

I did this weekend.... Ultra Music Festival, like the easiest weekend to get laid of the year so good timing (especially with female wingmen)... Made me feel better for a little while but I still feel lonely (Sappy, I know). This girl was about two inches from finding a left over t-shirt of the other girl.... which, would have probably put a dent in feeling better for one night. haha. Threw that **** out right quick.

I donno, didn't help much I don't think. Plus it stings when I pee (just kidding haha).

Only one comment … you need a dog. They are great companions, loyal, unconditional love, make you more responsible and if you get a cute one like I did (see dog pics section) they are chick magnets.

Haha, I've wanted one for a long time, but, I can barely keep my Koi alive in my pond out back.

Come'on man, you gotta have better advice than that....you're like my hero with your deal!

....

I need to get set up...but all my girl friends think I'm a slut so they don't hook me up with their (good) friends...

 

[rmk]

Come'on man, you gotta have better advice than that....

Nope, that's all I got ...

 

[ParadigmDawg]

You're over thinking it MidnightSensi. Enjoy all the girls, once you get as old as me, you will be too tired to play the game anymore and then you will settle down with a woman who is at that stage too.

 

[MidnightSensi]

Nope, that's all I got ...

Haha, okay. When I'm out your way I'll make you go into San Fran and you'll need that puppy to get you out of trouble.

You're over thinking it MidnightSensi. Enjoy all the girls, once you get as old as me, you will be too tired to play the game anymore and then you will settle down with a woman who is at that stage too.

Well, after some skunk, I'll add that I got my health and some good tunes.... so, I'm not toooo bummed - life is good. Stuff happens for a reason. I shouldn't complain.

Tonight I'm gunna undercook some pasta, listen to tunes and obviously sleep alone.

 

[GO-NAD!]

My women knows who the boss is....

...every time you say "Yes, Dear"?

Seriously, if there is a "boss" in any man/woman relationship, something is wrong. One of them is a doormat, with no self-esteem, the other is insecure and must dominate the other, in order to feel important. I'm going to assume you were being "tongue in cheek"?

 

[GO-NAD!]

I need to get set up...but all my girl friends think I'm a slut so they don't hook me up with their (good) friends...

If your friends won't set you up, it's time for some serious introspection. I would say that if you want to avoid similar situations in the future, you need to lay your cards on the table up front. Next time you're on a date and the subject "what are you looking for in a relationship" comes up, you should make it quite clear that you're not into mind games. You don't play them, nor will you tolerate them. "Been there, dun that", sorta thing. You have to go into a relationship with the attitude that you have absolutely nothing to lose by simply walking away if the mind games start - make that clear. Just be matter of fact about it - don't sound hostile when making your point!

In this day and age, there are zero excuses for not communicating - cell phones, voicemail, e-mail, texting, etc. When "something comes up" and she can't make a date or call/take a call at the agreed time, she can let you know why, right away. I don't care if both of her parents died in a plane crash. A considerate person will let you know. Of course, that would apply to you as well.

Hope that's helpful!