I went to a few over the years but never actually watched one on TV. I did this year just because I felt it important to be positive, upbeat and embrace the Holiday sprit.
I don't want to be like the OP and consider offing myself because I emotionally gave into the Covis depression so many, like he appears to be suffering with. I also watched March of the Wooden Soldiers, had the full Thanksgiving meal, for 2 for the first time, followed by several Facetime calls and then watched The Wizard of Oz.
All things I would not normally do. It was a great day! I made sure it would be.