I understand I am in a minority here, but how do things change with multiple rows of seats? Getting the "correct" degrees for the front row, puts the side surrounds in forward of my second row. Right now this is my arrangement as we (just my wife and I) are the predominate users of our home theater. Would going to 7.1 help for the second row by actually getting some sound behind the second row? I also struggled with the discrepancy between THX and Dobly in their recommendations. Oh, well.
You could use redundant side surrounds, like theaters do. If you use a receiver, which has preouts, then add an amp for the second pair. Just remember to level match.
I recently switched to bipolar side surrounds for greater coverage, after reading an AH build that recommended it. I believe that there is improvement, but that it's subtle and not as profound as I was hoping.
There's not much you can do, otherwise. With multi-rows, there are a number of decisions that must be made, favoring either a compromise between them, or a preference for a particular row/spot. The rears are a good idea for, well, rear coverage, but of course the effect will be more pronounced for the rear row.
Since it's mostly just you and your wife, I think it's best to set it all up to provide the least compromise for your favorite seat. If you do use rears, and your favorite spot is front/center, when you calibrate the rears for this position, it will run too hot for the rear row. C'est la vie.